The Yaak House, Part Nine

 Part Nine of The Yaak House is now live on my Darker Thing Blog!

https://andiwritedarker.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-yaak-house-part-nine.html

Physical Thing

 I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick and tired.

Tired of the weight unseen that drags me down and down and down as my mind spirals deeper into the abyss of itself as I learn to accept who I am.

I hate myself; this broken mind that slips and breaks and shatters.

I hate my physical being. 

The soft and aching body; the hips build weird, the feet that point awkwardly in, that don't walk right. I hate my nose, I hate my ears, I hate the gap in my teeth and the shape of my face. 

I hate that thing I do when I laugh, because I went so long faking laughter that I had to relearn the real thing. 

I hate my eyelashes, I hate my fat and stubby fingers, I hate my arms and I hate my thighs. 

I hate the shape of my neck and the shape of my chin. 

I hate my womb, the thing I never wanted.

I hate the sunburn scar on my chest, the thing that beats beneath it. 

I hate my ribs, I hate my rolls, I hate my knees. 

I hate the physical thing that is me. 

I hate my brain because it cannot produce the chemicals.

I hate my eyes because they're haunted and hurting, but people call them beautiful when I cry.  

I hate my arms, I hate my legs, my lips, my voice, and my eyebrows... 

I hate that I can only been seen in this physical shell. I hate that people can't see me... but I guess that's my only blessing... because who wants to see that?