The Children

 I exist in an angry state of mind in a dangerous place.

A place called Idaho that screams "Dont say gay" alongside Florida. 

I exist under attack and duress, within the power of anger.

Little men on their big bikes with guns they don't know how to aim.

For shame for shame for shame

I will go to Pride even if I've written a poem already about what to do in the event that I die there.

I will stand by the community that has shown me kindness, by my found family, by my brother.

I will not be silenced. I will say what I am.

I am bisexual.

I am non-binary, they/them, but if you must call me something, then  call me Sir because they had to put my brass balls on my chest to prevent chafing.

I was born to a body that is governed as "less than a man".

But I will take no more of that shit  which has been for twenty-six years shoveled down my throat that so many desperate little yee-yee boys and maga men gulp down like their coors lifeblood.

The same shit peddled by pathetic men who think no is a challenge and not an answer.

Nobody called for war but the privileged; because equality feels like oppression when their superiority is taken away.

"Its about the children!"

But then they aim at the queer ones.

They aim at other people's children.

I will not be cowed by cucks on bikes just because they were given a mic.

Not by men who will so readily turn their guns to the youth while swearing its for the good.

I will not be broken, I will not be silenced

I will not be shamed

If you force me to the corner I will choose violence.

I will not be silent, be compliant to bias

I will riot, my anger an invigorating balm upon appliance.

I will say gay and be gay

I am not a she I am They

They and gay and gay and GAY

You will never rip the word away from my lips

No matter the beating, nothing I haven't endured before with blood on my lips.

No amount of mouth breathing, knuckle dragging, scraggle bearded manged looking men will scare me straight.

I will say and STAY gay.

"Its about the children!" 

But then they're balls deep in their purity culture, where childish innocence is the epitome of female sex appeal.

I fucking said what I said.

For shame for shame for shame

"Its about the children!"

Until they disown their bisexual son, their trans daughter, until they bully them out of life by telling them its best to go with suicide.

Its about the children until its inconvenient to make sure they're fed.

About the children until someone's esteemed career is threatened.

Its about the children until they have to hold one another accountable for the wretched things one of their flock has done to them.

But then they will say eight year old me was "asking for" the janitor to lure me into his shop during recess.

Eight.

I was EIGHT.

LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME I DESERVED IT

LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY YOU ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE PREDATORS IN MY COMMUNITY WHEN YOU WON'T SPEAK UP ABOUT THE STRAIGHT ONES 

Look my friend Shannon in the eye and tell her she deserved it at age three.

Look my friend Ella in the eye and tell me her 7 month old daughter deserved it.

Don't say gay isn't about protecting the children.

Its about making sure those predators have a steady source that hopefully won't get knocked up with the evidence.

Its about the children until they actually have to protect them.

Don't say gay isn't about protecting the kids its about making it so the queer ones die off faster.

Its about making sure the broken book club reigns supreme.